Decembre al meu

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you
Feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the
Things I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the things
I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

Explicatie

Maybe I just wanna touch you for your warm inside again
Maybe I just wanna let you the sweetest pleasure is me
I don't know why why but I love to see you cry
I don't know why why it just makes me feel like

Are you coming to the moment
When you know your heart can break
I'm inside you
I'm around you
Just wanna hear you cry again
I don't know why why but I love to see you cry
I don't know why why it just makes me feel like
I don't know why why but I love to see you cry
I don't know why why but it just makes me feel like

You don't know how much it hurts when you fall asleep in my arms
before the morning comes
I wanna run away, I wanna run away
I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why why but I love to see you cry
I don't know why why it just makes me feel like
I don't know why why but I love to see you cry
I don't know why why but it just makes me feel like

Cand Prometeu si Afrodita se intalnesc...

Avem un Prometeu. Al 33-lea dar tot Prometeu ramane. Avem o Afrodita care crede ca este si o Atena! Avem o contradictie?! Pacat de Romeo! Si vai de Juliet! Actually everything is very romantic... I am fuck'n Zeus!:)...or Oedip?!

Inapoi la originar (totusi ne-original)

Originar suntem singuri. La inceput singuri in intunericul amniotic. Dupa aceea devenim singuri printre ceilalti. Desi exista maya, iluzia comunicarii, a realului, iluzia non-singuratatii. Reusim sa ne pacalim - multi dintre noi - cu aceste minciuni: comunicare, siguranta, relatie, iubire, prietenie... Ne construim iluzii peste iluzii, intram in cercuri inchise auto-pacalitoare... dar vom ajunge la sfarsit sa plecam asa cum am venit: singuri.

La mine s-a mai inchis un cerc. Am mai alungat o iluzie. Am mai terminat un an. L-am terminat exact asa cum l-am inceput: singur. Partea negativa este ca sunt singur si nesigur. Anul trecut eram singur si sigur. Hm... oare am invatat ceva anul asta?! Nu. Mi-am subminat singur increderea in mine, increderea in ceilalti. Nu-i nimic... Mi-am mai deconstruit un mit, o iluzie... Sau mi-am reconfirmat teoria starii originare. Am fost si soare, am fost si nori. Am ras, am plans... Am fost realist si self-deceiving (cateodata in acelasi timp!). Am fost eu cel originar: rau, egoist, capabil de ura, irational-meschin, contradictoriu... Am fost eu-cel-originar. Am fost singur. Pentru ca daca ma insel ar fi trebuit ca anul acesta sa fiu bun, egocentric, rational-romantic, plin de iubire si sigur de mine. Ar fi trebuit sa nu fiu singur.

Anul viitor promit sa fiu cum nu am fost anul acesta: cinic si sceptic. Pana la urma sunt singurele atitudini rationale.

Mi-ar mai fi de adaugat: atentie la persoanele cu care alegem sa fim singuri. Atentie la circumferinta cercurilor inchise in care traiesc persoanele cu care alegem sa fim singuri. Atentie la iluziile persoanelor cu care alegem sa fim singuri. :) :(

Bridget Jones' Diary 1

Fizic: 64 de kile, vreo 56 de tigari average/zi, 2 kile de bere minim/zi (media pe ultimele 4 zile), mancare prea putina. Afectiv: nici o iubita, slabe sanse sa se intample in curand asta. Afectiv 2: still in love with A. Perspective de iubire/a fi iubit: 0. A nice Christmas to everybody! :)